Week #10

"It's not a man's job to do housework, it's a woman's."

The families my husband and I came from are very different. His mother was a stay at home mom from the day he was born to the day he moved out at age 20, while his dad was the one to break his back to work as much as he could to take care of his family. His mom took care of everything, cleaning, laundry, making beds, dishes, everything, David, or his dad or siblings, never had to do any cleaning. However, my mother worked just as much as my dad, they both held 40 hour a week jobs, with the occasional over-time, leaving it to everyone in our family to take care of our house, the cleaning, laundry, dishes, each of us took out turn, even dad.

When moving into David and I's home together, he didnt complain when he did the occasional dishes, or folding laundry when I asked. But one day, as I mentioned that David had done dishes and swapped the laundry over in front of his mom, she about fell off her rocker. "David did what?!", she asked. I repeated when I had said. "How come he has to do that?". I knew that would be her reaction, my face started to burn, I could tell it was getting red, I wanted to scream that he is perfectly capable of putting his hands into the dish water just as much as I am. Instead, I calmy said, "He lives at the house too, he can help clean and maintain the house." She didnt waste any time in replying, "Oh, I just cant imagine it. Poor David." I was about to come unglued, but some how kept it together, but inside I was screaming. "Poor David? Poor DAVID? POOR DAVID?!?! You've got to be kidding me!"

Men are just as capable of sweeping the floors they too walk on, folding the clothes that they wear, and yes, washing the dishes, they too, eat off from as well. What's the difference between a man working 40 hours a week and a woman working 40 hours a week, besides maybe the mans job is more physical, such as construction. They both get up early, get home late, get tired out throughout the day, and dread coming home to having to cook dinner, clean up and do it all over again the next day. Not to mention if there is the added stress of kids involved as well.

Where I was raised my dad worked the night shift, 2:30-11pm and my mom the day shift, 6:30-3:30, meaning my dad did all of the house work, keeping the house clean for us during the week while mom and us kids did it on the weekends. It was a group effort, not, oh she's a female, its her responsibility to do the cooking and cleaning.

This mind set, I'm sure was 'normal' decades ago, however, I doubt it flies too much these days. Men and women are created equal, each person living in a home together create messes individually as well as together, each person needs their clothes washed, towels clean for a shower, floors swept and washed, clean dishes to eat off from, and fresh sheets on a bed every now and then doesnt hurt either. In todays world a man needs to be able to take care of himself just like a woman needs to be able to take care of herself as well.